Advice I Gave to my Son

After marriage, your wife WILL get a lot fatter… unless she’s a vegan, in which case she will get a LOT crazier. Learn a sport, like basketball or football, and play it well into middle-age; because, doctors who replace knees need to eat too. Changing your own oil is easy and saves you money. The […]

Random Thoughts: Now with 25% Less Fat

What simile should I use to describe a metaphor? Circus clown is a fine occupation for people who both want to terrify children and die in a tent fire. When we got married, my wife wanted to use her own name. So, I let her use it as a synonym for “tree”… None of my […]

Are Video Games the “Other Woman”?

[Let’s face it. If you boyfriend, husband or disturbing stranger that sleeps on your couch has a computer, chances are, he will neglect you for one or more computer games. And, how can you fight a computer… an entity of PURE LOGIC??? As usual, I am here to help:] 1. If a video game is […]

The Indelible Virtue of Not Doing Stuff

John Stuart Mill once said, “Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing”. That statement couldn’t have been more wrong if someone had dropped it in a big barrel of wrong as an infant. I’m a good man and do you know what you […]

A History of the Telephone

1667: Robert Hooke invents the tin-can-on-a-string telephone, or “lover’s telephone” because people were very fond of tin cans back in the seventeenth century. Sound was transmitted acoustically along a taut string across a distance of a few dozen feet. Considering the deplorable hygiene of the time, putting more distance between yourself and the person you […]