[Let’s face it. If you boyfriend, husband or disturbing stranger that sleeps on your couch has a computer, chances are, he will neglect you for one or more computer games. And, how can you fight a computer… an entity of PURE LOGIC??? As usual, I am here to help:]
1. If a video game is more interesting to your man than romance with you, up your game. For example, try NOT rolling your eyes during sex.
2. Remember that a video game is a great way to expel anger and frustration due to life’s problems and replace it with anger and frustration due to problems in an imaginary world.
3. Also remember that, if you die in a video game, you can always come back. If you die in real life, all you get is a well-needed rest and a party thrown in your honor.
4. Before complaining about your man playing video games consider what life would be like if he had to confront the mind-numbingly awful things that are your interests.
5. It could be worse. It could be another woman… or worse, a married other woman… or worse, a dog… worst of all, a MARRIED dog.
6. People who play video games are better at solving problems. Don’t make yourself a problem…
7. If he can pretend that he’s not a fat loser, so can you!
8. You could try discussing it with your man; but, if he’s in the mood to play video games, everything out of your mouth will just sound like a cat talking.
9. The only responsible solution is to conceive a child.
10. If you are staying with a man who ignores you and whose biggest achievements are virtual, your standards are such that you won’t have any trouble finding someone else…