Poems are Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Things

Now, Who Will I Listen To? The last time Buddy Holly flied was the day the music died . Joplin is dead, no one knows why And, Hendrix prematurely kissed the sky . Bob Marley and Jim Morrison are also no more no woman no door… God grant me the […]

Colors that I Like Less Than the Others

Purple: Purple was the color of royalty because it took a big pile of stinking sea shells just to make one thing purple… and purple has never really gotten over itself. Now, anyone with a box of crayons can make purple… but, people like Donnie Osmond and Prince perpetuate the regality of the color purple, […]

Other Bucket Lists Pail in Comparison

I want to see Rome before I die, preferably from a flying saucer. I want to make my own lizard using only items I have around the house. I want to perform the lead role in an all-nude production of Mame. I want to trip Charlie Sheen… or, if that isn’t possible, Emilio Estevez… I […]

Least Effective Methods of Suicide

Blowing your brains out with an electric fan. Slashing your elbows. Throwing yourself under a moving cat. Jumping off the roof of a very tall building onto the roof of a slightly shorter building. Caulking your lungs shut. Choking yourself on the breasts of a CPR dummy. Overdosing on Fiddle-faddle. Hanging yourself from a shoe […]

This Day in History: July 24th

The Kellogg–Briand Pact (or Pact of Paris, officially General Treaty for Renunciation of War as an Instrument of National Policy) went into effect on this day in 1929, effectively ending war as they knew it. Fortunately, war as they didn’t know it was still waiting in the wings. The Kellogg-Briand Pact has been ridiculed […]