Why I Built a House on the North Pole

Every window has a southern exposure. My nearest neighbor will feel compelled to bring me a house warming gift and my nearest neighbor will be Santa Claus. I’ll save a fortune on air conditioning. After a few more decades of global warming, I’ll be able to grow mangoes in my backyard. Six months of darkness […]

A Poem: The Mind of a Skeptic

Valley Forge consisted of an imaginary Washington and an army that never existed. . Is the Earth flat? I certainly believe that. . The landing on the moon was faked (and I’ll have proof soon). . Will I be immunized by a shot? I certainly will not… . At a very large cost Hitler faked […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Pt 6

Dear Genetically-Modified Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Despite my inviting her, my sister-in-law attended my wedding, which I thought was very selfish of her. That was MY DAY. It was SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME. But, there she sat in the second row, coyly staying quiet enough to be interesting to all those around her. My friends […]

Fun Facts about Independence Day

When Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, he left the names of the two nations blank so that, if the American Revolution fizzled out, he could sell the document to Ireland. A big part of celebrating how independent we are is buying hundreds of millions of dollars worth of fireworks from China. Only two […]

Things Better Done Drunk

Night Swimming: If the movie Jaws taught us anything it is that drinking and swimming don’t mix… with sharks, anyway. Without sharks, drunk swimming is GREAT. You can just drift off to sleep above or below the waves (your choice). Was it suicide or stupidity? No one knows!!! Golf: Golf goes with alcohol like softball […]