Things Better Done Drunk

Night Swimming: If the movie Jaws taught us anything it is that drinking and swimming don’t mix… with sharks, anyway. Without sharks, drunk swimming is GREAT. You can just drift off to sleep above or below the waves (your choice). Was it suicide or stupidity? No one knows!!! Golf: Golf goes with alcohol like softball […]

Aryabhata

This is from my People of the Middle Ages section: Mathematician and astronomer, Aryabhata. The Polemic Histrionics of Aryabhata

Why You Should Participate in Dangerous Sports

[Thanks to Deb Whittam for the idea] Women like men with scars. Imagine how turned on they’ll be after you are paralyzed from a rugby injury. Playing a dangerous sport allows you to add the words “TO THE EXTREEEEME” to anything you say and not seem like a hypocrite. Risking your life releases endorphins that […]

Karma’s a Bitch: A Poem

I saw a child living in squalor so I gave her a dollar. . I saw a homeless woman, barely alive so I gave her a five. . I met a poor old man whose health wasn’t good I told him that I “understood”. . When evil fortune took people unawares, I tried to repel […]

Is Your Hygiene Bad? Here are the Warning Signs

Your bed-sheets look like the Shroud of Turin… You friends can tell, with great accuracy, which chair you were sitting in… a week after you sat in it. You are given a hazmat suit and asked to wear it inside out… You find a truffle growing in your navel. After your dog licks you for […]