Is Your Hygiene Bad? Here are the Warning Signs

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Don’t judge me

Your bed-sheets look like the Shroud of Turin…

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You friends can tell, with great accuracy, which chair you were sitting in… a week after you sat in it.

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You are given a hazmat suit and asked to wear it inside out…

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You find a truffle growing in your navel.

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After your dog licks you for a while, it gets “full”.

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Your spouse will only have sex with you if the two of you are in separate rooms.

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Your underwear has to be removed in pieces.

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Your lover can write “PLEASE WASH ME” on your back with her finger.

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You smell like nothing… I don’t mean you haven’t got an odor; but, WHAT you smell LIKE cannot be identified.

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Your hair is not greasy because lice are eating all the oils in it.

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People you sit next to on the bus move to a different seat… on a different bus… in a different city.

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29 thoughts on “Is Your Hygiene Bad? Here are the Warning Signs

  1. I saw the title and started giggling. Couldn’t wait to read. They are all good – I especially liked, “After your dog licks you for a while, it gets “full”.” and the PLEASE WASH ME 🙂 So funny!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You always pick the ones that I’m worried aren’t strong enough, Robyn. Obviously, I thought they were good enough to publish, but maybe I don’t have my finger on the pulse of the public…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Superlatives, no, but I do lie a lot.

        Seriously though, I usually try and pick one from your list to comment on but it was impossible to pick just one from this list. Have you considered publishing a collection of your lists?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You have just ruined my weekend. I work at an airport with many bargain passengers. Maybe I will put some Vick’s under my nose…
    I once dated a guy that smelled of fresh air – every part of him smelled of fresh air. Never been so intimidated by my own natural odors and dumped him.

    Liked by 1 person

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