If I help you, we’ll develop an emotional bond and then you’ll hurt me like all the others.
If I try to help you and fail, it will devastate my self-esteem.
If I help you, I’ll feel obligated to help those who see me help you, for fairness sake; then, I’ll have to help the people who see me helping them and my obligations will spread like a plague.
I’ve got enough karma saved up to get to where my favorite uncle is in the afterlife. If I do one more nice thing, I’ll end up in eternity with my tiresome cousin.
Dependence on me will make you weak.
Let’s look at this logically: God helps those who help themselves; therefore, if I help you, you’re going to Hell.
I would really enjoy helping you and that’s a problem because I’m a Stoic.
Helping people is a lot like communism… not a LOT like it… but enough to give me an excuse not to help you move your billiards table…
If I don’t help you, that will make you more self-reliant which, I suppose, will help you… in a “socks for Christmas” sort of way…
If I lend you money, it will be throwing good money after bad and chasing it down with other money… you’re a leech, a tick on my bank account and I don’t care if they cut off your heat, mom, it’s the only way you’ll learn…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
That was a big help, thanks Charles 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh NO!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A solid list of reasons there. And I agree, it’s about the balance. Spending all eternity with cousin Randolph and his “pull my finger” jokes is definitely not worth the effort.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d imagine that would stink to high heaven…
LikeLike
another reason could be – If I help you and you don’t help me when I need, then we develop hatred and slowly become enemies. Better to not help and remain friends! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“If I help you, I’ll feel obligated to help those who see me help you, for fairness sake; then, I’ll have to help the people who see me helping them and my obligations will spread like a plague.” Funny list 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Robyn… I thought it was a little weak, but I’ve got a great idea for a book-length work, now. I think that’s been siphoning some of my enthusiasm…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is great – I am wishing you the best of luck with your idea! Can’t wait to read it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeh I probably would hurt you…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like all the others… [sigh]
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘God helps those who help themselves; therefore, if I help you, you’re going to Hell.’
This is sound logic. More life lessons from masercot. I’ve learned so much.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You can call me “Charlie”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with River. With such sound advice, Charlie could be our messiah and save us from going to hell, except he wont help.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or… maybe I’m helping you by NOT helping you at all…
No.. that would be impossible…
LikeLike
Thank you, Rev. Osteen, this timely and pity witness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shhh… no one knows…
LikeLike
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person