Body Parts I’d Like Plastic Surgeonated

Nose: How best to describe my nose? It looks as if someone added a nose to my face and the next worker on the assembly line wasn’t looking and put another one there. It’s not an especially long nose, nor is it very broad; however, it is denser than high carbon steel. My nose is […]

Double-plus Rand-Thoughts

At work, the LGBT people are having a gay ice-cream social. When the guy handed me the flier, I thought to myself, “You know, if my granddaddy were alive today, he’d probably be panicking, scratching and clawing at the coffin lid until he suffocated” If everyone who ever died trying to save someone from a […]

Some Shaky Earthquake Tips

If you are at work and don’t have time to get outside, take cover under a table or a desk. If you were already under someone’s desk BEFORE the earthquake started, you should be ashamed of yourself… If you are outdoors, avoid power lines… unless you are a power line worker. In that case: GET […]