Some Shaky Earthquake Tips

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If you are at work and don’t have time to get outside, take cover under a table or a desk.  If you were already under someone’s desk BEFORE the earthquake started, you should be ashamed of yourself…

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If you are outdoors, avoid power lines… unless you are a power line worker.  In that case:  GET BACK TO WORK.

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Stay away from any furniture that might fall on you unless that furniture is worth more than you are.  If it is, try to cushion its fall with the fleshy part of your back and buttocks.

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During the earthquake, try standing in a doorway.  It won’t increase your chances of survival, but, when they look for the bodies, they always start with doorways for some reason.

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Do NOT run outside or into another room during an earthquake unless you have a desperate need to TiVo something or you hear the ice cream man.

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After the earthquake, use your cell phone to call or text for help because, really, it’s all about YOU, isn’t it?

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You should help the survivors, unless they are so seriously injured that you’ll need to move them in two or more trips.

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Have an earthquake readiness plan.  For example, my plan is to live in an area that doesn’t have earthquakes.

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If you are outside during an earthquake, find an area where trees, buildings or power lines won’t fall on you.  I recommend Antarctica or the Moon.

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If you are in bed during the earthquake, stay there until the quake is over, protecting your head with your pillow or significant other…

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16 thoughts on “Some Shaky Earthquake Tips

  1. My earthquake experience:
    1. kept still in the bed for a few seconds that took me to register its an earthquake
    2. went to the balcony to check if everything was fine
    3. was shouted at by everyone who had evacuated and standing below
    4. went back to bed, feeling insulted

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Okay, here’s mine:

      1. In tenth floor office, feels the floor vibrating.
      2. Assumes it is the elevator on the other side of the wall.
      3. Good sense kicks in and realizes “earthquake!”.
      4. Starts running for the exit.
      5. Earthquake stops.
      6. Go back to office.
      7. Word comes to evacuate.
      8. 45 minute evacuation.
      9. Train ride home at 10 mph.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. In all the years I’ve lived in Maine we’ve had 2 earthquakes. The first I was a teenager, sitting on a log on a beach drinking beer. Didn’t even notice it. The second was last year and I thought our oil furnace had exploded. If frequency is a pattern? I should be dead by the next one.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We talked to our kids about earthquake drills and how we learned to go into doorways or to cover those fleshy parts under a desk …to which our kids replied that all that information is now erroneous.

    I guess we’ll go with #10.

    Liked by 1 person

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