On the Five Basic Forces of Nature

People say that there is no gravity… just matter following the curvatures of space/time; but, you never hear a guy who is clinging to a ledge a hundred feet over the pavement say, “Help me! I’m about to follow the curvature of space/time” ▲ The same electrical forces that power the taser that brings down […]

Dieting Tips that will Make You Think Less of Yourself

Never eat a meal that you cannot comfortably carry. ☼ Sugars are “empty calories” and because they are empty, other calories can hide inside of them like a Trojan horse. Instead, enjoy the candy-like sweetness of chard or endive. ☼ If you crave something sweet, eat a carrot because… Happy Non Sequitur Day! ☼ If […]

Never Say Never

Never take a knife to a gunfight… unless that knife brought its own gun. ● Never fall in love with a woman who keeps photographs of her old lovers; and, in each photograph, they have chalk outlines drawn around them… ● Never bite off more than you can chew. Never chew more than can fit […]

Some Shaky Earthquake Tips

If you are at work and don’t have time to get outside, take cover under a table or a desk. If you were already under someone’s desk BEFORE the earthquake started, you should be ashamed of yourself… If you are outdoors, avoid power lines… unless you are a power line worker. In that case: GET […]