Never take a knife to a gunfight… unless that knife brought its own gun.
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Never fall in love with a woman who keeps photographs of her old lovers; and, in each photograph, they have chalk outlines drawn around them…
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Never bite off more than you can chew. Never chew more than can fit down your neck.
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Never trust a circus clown who digs his garden at night…
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Never share an ice cream cone with someone whose nickname is “Hepatitis B”…
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Never arrange a date for a guy who catches butterflies because you’ll be his “wing man” which might make his date laugh at first; but, the more she thinks about it, the less funny it will be because she will come to the realization that she has a date with a butterfly collector…
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Never put your money into a bank that operates out of a Winnebago…
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Never send a boy to do a man’s jaw… although, on reflection, I don’t think I’m remembering that one right.
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Never take a medication if one of the possible side effects is hypochondria…
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Never volunteer to give a wedding toast when you secretly think the bride’s a floozy, the groom’s an idiot and you are three hours into the open bar…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Never take your cat into a bar
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I thought Australian cats could handle bars…
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Australian bars can’t handle cats. Anyway I’m waiting for a number from you, Mr Charles 🥳
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Thirty-nine…
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Damn, I knew that ATM on wheels seemed fishy…
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You should’ve known when, instead of THANK YOU FOR YOUR TRANSACTION, it displayed, YOUR MONEY BELONGS TO ME, NOW!
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I’m not good with subtlety.
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Lol!
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Those ice creams look yummy!
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And, less creepy than the gardening clown I was going to use…
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All clowns are creepy.
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Not mimes… mimes are just sad…
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Especially orange ones.
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That would explain a LOT…
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I used one of those banks on wheels at some outdoor event a couple of years ago. You already know what happened. I didn’t get any money out and it ate my card. I’m such a trusting idiot.
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Yes, but you made someone else’s day so much better, Robyn…
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That made me laugh 🙂
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wouldn’t trust the woman with photographs either 😂…
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Never post a pun
Unless it’s done in fun
Or a toast to Donald you quaff
In which case all bets are off.
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Some time
you have to rhyme
and I may be delirious
but my puns are serious…
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