Never Say Never

The untold truth of ice cream cones

Never take a knife to a gunfight… unless that knife brought its own gun.

Never fall in love with a woman who keeps photographs of her old lovers; and, in each photograph, they have chalk outlines drawn around them…

Never bite off more than you can chew. Never chew more than can fit down your neck.

Never trust a circus clown who digs his garden at night…

Never share an ice cream cone with someone whose nickname is “Hepatitis B”…

Never arrange a date for a guy who catches butterflies because you’ll be his “wing man” which might make his date laugh at first; but, the more she thinks about it, the less funny it will be because she will come to the realization that she has a date with a butterfly collector…

Never put your money into a bank that operates out of a Winnebago…

Never send a boy to do a man’s jaw… although, on reflection, I don’t think I’m remembering that one right.

Never take a medication if one of the possible side effects is hypochondria…

Never volunteer to give a wedding toast when you secretly think the bride’s a floozy, the groom’s an idiot and you are three hours into the open bar…

20 thoughts on “Never Say Never

  1. I used one of those banks on wheels at some outdoor event a couple of years ago. You already know what happened. I didn’t get any money out and it ate my card. I’m such a trusting idiot.

    Liked by 1 person

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