My Fruitless Quest for a Nobel Prize

It has long been a dream of mine to win a Nobel Prize. Well, time’s a wastin’ and I STILL don’t even have one. But, it was the LAST STRAW when my best friend and poker-buddy, Denis Mukwege Mukengere, won the Peace Prize for some nonsense about the treatment of women in Congolese war zones. […]

Financial Terms You Should Learn

Interest: Something your bank does not have in regards to your patronage or satisfaction. Asset: Stuff you have that banks and billionaires think is rightfully theirs. Futures: Basically off-track-betting that a particular commodity will be partially destroyed by frost or locusts and therefore become more valuable. Cash Flow: How much drug money a particular […]

If Crime Doesn’t Pay, a LOT of People are Wasting their Time

“Crime does not pay” That is not the dumbest thing ever said, but, if you stand next to it, you can see the dumbest thing from there. It was one of the trademark lines of the pulp-hero, The Shadow. He was a radio-age superhero who had the power to cloud men’s minds… which is what […]

For Sale: The Root of All Evil

How can we make United States currency more popular? It USED to be very popular… the preferred money of black marketers and prostitutes of all nations great and small. But, those were our glory days. Over the last four decades, we’ve tried everything to SELL the love of the dollar: We took the plainest most […]

Turn Dog Feces into Cash; or, Capitalism Explained

Are you broke, hard-up, without funds or dirt poor? Follow these steps and you can make BIG money… as demonstrated by how I capitalize “big”. Unlike other money-making schemes, mine requires almost NO upfront money. The money you DO need, can be easily acquired raiding your grandmother’s medicine cabinet and then meeting with your “special […]