Financial Terms You Should Learn

 

Interest: Something your bank does not have in regards to your patronage or satisfaction.

Asset: Stuff you have that banks and billionaires think is rightfully theirs.

Futures: Basically off-track-betting that a particular commodity will be partially destroyed by frost or locusts and therefore become more valuable.

Cash Flow: How much drug money a particular business launders.

Amortization: A large expenditure broken up into small enough payments to disguise the fact that you’ll never pay off the large expenditure…

Balloon Payment: Like an amortization, but without the disguise. You pay the interest for a set period and then… HOLY CHRIST, is that what I owe or my social security number!

Collateral: What you will lose when you cannot make your balloon payment.

Gross Profit: When corporations make money off of things that kill children and the elderly.

Lien: A legal hold on assets that ensure the Sovereign Citizen you pissed off can make your life a living Hell for the rest of your wretched life.

Bankruptcy: A notification from the wealthy that they will not be paying you for services or raw materials; or, from the poor/middle class that their lives are essentially over…

Gross Domestic Product: A significant economic indicator designed to be misinterpreted by whoever uses it.

Margin Call: If you are hunting margins, a margin call is a terrific way to get them to your blind.