Financial Terms You Should Learn

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Interest: Something your bank does not have in regards to your patronage or satisfaction.

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Asset: Stuff you have that banks and billionaires think is rightfully theirs.

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Futures: Basically off-track-betting that a particular commodity will be partially destroyed by frost or locusts and therefore become more valuable.

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Cash Flow: How much drug money a particular business launders.

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Amortization: A large expenditure broken up into small enough payments to disguise the fact that you’ll never pay off the large expenditure…

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Balloon Payment: Like an amortization, but without the disguise. You pay the interest for a set period and then… HOLY CHRIST, is that what I owe or my social security number!

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Collateral: What you will lose when you cannot make your balloon payment.

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Gross Profit: When corporations make money off of things that kill children and the elderly.

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Lien: A legal hold on assets that ensure the Sovereign Citizen you pissed off can make your life a living Hell for the rest of your wretched life.

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Bankruptcy: A notification from the wealthy that they will not be paying you for services or raw materials; or, from the poor/middle class that their lives are essentially over…

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Gross Domestic Product: A significant economic indicator designed to be misinterpreted by whoever uses it.

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Margin Call: If you are hunting margins, a margin call is a terrific way to get them to your blind.

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5 thoughts on “Financial Terms You Should Learn

    1. It’s been a while since I’ve been called “brilliant”. But, I won’t let it go to my he– Oops… too late, I’ve commissioned a statue of myself for a nearby park. What an ego! I’ve changed and I don’t like what I see… wait, that was self-effacing… SO I’M HUMBLE AGAIN!!!

      Wanna buy a statue?

      Liked by 1 person

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