The Moosehead Stratagem: Chapter Three, Part Four

Ahem sat in his office, which was dark, but for a single lamp (the lamp had been given to him by the president—thrown at him actually—over a misunderstanding involving the First Lady and where his mouth was). In front of him was a blank legal pad (Ahem preferred to use legal-sized pads so that he […]

The Moosehead Stratagem: Chapter Three, Part Three

[Start of Chapter Three is here] Buck Justermanson punched in a twenty-five digit number and waited for the phone to ring. After it had rung for exactly five rings an emotionless voice answered. “Hello?” “Hello. This is ‘Judas’. I’d like to speak to ‘Lucifer’” “Is this a secure line?” Buck’s voice conveyed urgency, “There was […]

The Moosehead Stratagem, Chapter Three, Part Two

The Glove thought for a moment, then moved a piece, “Pawn to King-Four”, he announced, leaning back in his chair, “Check” “How is that check?”, Vigan Artisorium asked. “You are perhaps unfamiliaristic with the Gabe Kaplen opening?” “Well”, the Armenian mob boss stated, looking back at the board, “Last week, the Gabe Kaplen opening […]

Moosehead Stratagem, Chapter 3, Part 1

[Well, another hundred followers… and, as is my custom, this week will be chapter three of The Moosehead Stratagem. The beginning of this epic masterwork of working masters is here. It is a parody of Robert Ludlum novels with a little Pulp Fiction and The Da Vinci Code thrown in for good measure. Enjoy!] Chapter […]

What I Want 4 Christmas

A copy of The Walter White Cookbook. A round-trip ticket to the happiest place on Earth: The Xanax factory! A pinochle deck with the prime numbers removed. A statue of an angry Buddha, crumpling up a betting ticket and smacking a prostitute. A boxed set of every movie that Adam Sandler wasn’t in. A […]