How to be More Smarterer

Claim whatever word you are discussing comes from the “Middle English” from the “Old French” because who cares? . Sprinkle your essay with made up quotes from Tolstoy. Remember to avoid topics like lasers, nuclear energy and the band Boyz II Men. . Writing a simple sentence, when a more complicated one is just as […]

Attack of the Giant Monsters in Movies from the Fifties (Part One: Insects)

[This was a preface to a book I never finished on Godzilla] As far as giant monster movies go, if you were to ask what there was a lot of in the fifties, I would say, “That”. As far as poorly-constructed topic sentences go, I would say that I began this paragraph with one. Is […]

Tornado Tips!

If you must flee a tornado in a vehicle, do it at right angles from the tornado’s path. If you don’t have a protractor (or compass and straight-edge) to calculate the angle, just park your car on the shoulder of the road and wait for death… If your pet runs off during a tornado and […]

2-d Shapes I Hate: Part Two

Ellipse: You’ll never see me bad-mouthing a circle. But, a circle only has TWO parts: The middle and the perimeter. I can live with that. That’s why they wait until analytic geometry to introduce you to the HORROR that is the ellipse. It has more parts than a shortwave radio. Besides a center and […]

2-d Shapes that I HATE!!! Part One

Triangle: I dislike starting this list with the shape that I hate most of all, especially since a lot of you think ellipse should be the most hated; but, triangles definitely get on my nerves the most. I know that there’s an entire branch of mathematics based on triangles; but, that was thousands of years […]