How They Could’ve Avoided a Government Shutdown

Make wages of congressional representatives inversely proportional to how stupid they are acting. Any representative who offers an amendment that kills more than ten Americans will be bikini-waxed. Lock the doors and begin flooding the chamber. Show congressmen films of functioning congresses so they can better understand what one looks like… […]

Money-making Ideas for the Twenty-first Century

Pet Watching Service for After the Rapture: When the heavens open up and take God’s chosen, who’ll watch their dogs and cats? Well, since I am NOT a Christian and will sign a document declaring that I will NEVER be “saved”, I am the perfect heathen to check in on the pets of the extremely […]

Ideas

Ham, bacon and egg breakfasts made from incestuous animals. Call it, “Breakfast Inbred”. Still no response from Denny’s. A car that runs by draining the batteries of the cars all around it. Can call it, “The Mother-in-Law”… A television crime drama starring Fiona Apple as a detective who solves crimes by banging random chords out […]