How They Could’ve Avoided a Government Shutdown

Make wages of congressional representatives inversely proportional to how stupid they are acting.


Any representative who offers an amendment that kills more than ten Americans will be bikini-waxed.


Lock the doors and begin flooding the chamber.


Show congressmen films of functioning congresses so they can better understand what one looks like…


Create a “Congressional Committee on Do Your Goddamned Job Why Not”.


Members of congress who cannot come up with a budget will be force to serve pancakes to government workers whose paycheck have been stopped.


Discontinue all bribes to the House and Senate until they create a viable budget.


In the last four hours before a possible government shutdown, members of the Senate will have to work naked in front of a firing squad.


After a budget is successfully created and ratified, members of congress will be rewarded by having their families released unharmed…

4 thoughts on “How They Could’ve Avoided a Government Shutdown

    1. You know that congress is only looking out for our best interests in as far as they coincide with themselves getting horribly rich. We need to give them the benefit of the doubt… which is easy, because I’ve got nothing BUT doubts about congress…

      Liked by 1 person

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