No one pays attention to your tattoos and piercings any more.
Sometimes you just need the love, affection and caring that can only come from a cold-blooded reptile with a brain the size of a watch battery.
You live in a trailer-park in Florida and just want to fit in.
Escaped boas and pythons breeding in the wild keep the elderly indoors and out of their vehicles.
Your infant daughter + Your reticulated python + Life insurance policy = Money for more snakes…
You feed snakes live mice and rabbits which alleviates the urge of doing “you know what” to “you know who”.
You can get together with friends who also own snakes and have “play dates”.
If you decide you don’t like your dog or cat, there are anti-cruelty laws to contend with. With a snake you simply turn the thermostat down to forty degrees…
If you physically cannot have children and still feel the need to rationalize the violent arbitrary act of a loved one.
Dogs and cats instinctively avoid you…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Really good and funny.
So when do you start writing Hallmark greeting cards?
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It’s funny you should say that because, on Fark.com, I am the resident poet. Think “Burma Shave”…
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