The black assassin lay face down in his own blood, strangled by his own earlobes. Karen looked up to see Mike Wistersheshenham eying the second killer. Mike shifted his weight to his toes and rolled backwards forming his body into an ‘M’-shape. The long-haired killer still had him in his sights. Mike spun on his […]Read More The Moosehead Stratagem: Chapter Three, Part Five
This is the fourth part of the first chapter of the third book I ever wrote. The ruthless assassin, Resnick Tucker Resnick, in The Moosehead Stratagem, Chapter One Part Four. For those who like that sort of thing, here are two people being menaced by a giant ant… The first installment is here: […]Read More And Now… the Assassin!
I used to like girls with glasses… thick, no-nonsense, I-do-read-Tolstoy-fuck-you-very-much glasses. But, with changes in style, the advent of hipsters and the unholy influence of Lisa Loeb, all sorts of girls wear glasses now. It’s like having a favorite flavor of ice cream, say cherry vanilla (not its real name); you wake up one morning […]Read More I Came; I Saw; I Ranted
[This is a concept I played with for a while. Please let me know what you think] Jaws was released June 20, 1975 and THAT was the last time many of us stepped into the ocean. Besides some dynamite acting and some jump-scares that were positively cruel, the movie had a giant robot […]Read More On This Day!
[After seeing the popularity of Dear Prudence, Dear Abby, Dear Meg and Ask Amy, I had to ask myself, “Is writing a fake advice column for me?”. Not having anything else written for today, the answer came back, “Yeah, why not?”] Dear Super-intelligent Bio-engineered Dog, I’m currently in a long-distance relationship and I’m worried that […]Read More Ask a Super-intelligent Bio-engineered Dog
REM’s pop song Shiny Happy People was written by Michael Stipe after his high phosphorous diet caused him to glow in the dark. Did you know that rattlesnakes and Swedes do NOT get along well? When reading a name in Russian literature, most English-speakers do NOT pronounce the names in their heads. They just replace […]Read More Fun Facts!
According to the Journal of the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene (a splinter group of the PLO), an Oregon woman had fourteen worms removed from her eye. I don’t know if that is any kind of a world record, but it definitely beats my highest number, which I HOPE TO GOD is zero. […]Read More You Worm, We Worm, Eyeworm