The Man Who Knew Karate

The mayor whispered into his phone, his back to the door of his office. “Is it done?”, he asked. He smiled at the answer. “I guess Ted Action… was put in… traction”, he quipped. “You calling me?”, a sudden voice behind him asked, playfully. The Mayor spun around and saw Ted standing at the other […]

Socially Acceptable Ways to Kill Yourself

Full Contact Karate: Well… full-contact anything, for that matter. I tried this and found out that, even though the audience can’t hear that kick reverberate through my head, it’s an experience that I’ll never forget… although, if I’d been kicked a little harder I might have… ֍ Drinking Contests: Alcohol is a drug that you […]

Revenge of the Mistaken Dragon

We had a sweet life when we first moved to Virginia; but, one day my parents didn’t come home. Vowing revenge on whoever did it, I left for Japan that very evening and, when I got there, I found the greatest martial arts teacher there. It took six months to persuade him to take me […]

Even More Stuff You don’t Know about Me

I was once six foot one inch tall. Now I am six feet tall. I thought my feet were getting bigger, but it turns out they are just closer… ♣ Despite years of research, I am no closer to being able to tell a kangaroo from a wallaby… ♣ I used to teach karate to […]

More Things You Don’t Know About Me

I don’t have a malicious streak in me; however, I wish I did because I think it would help me to focus better. When I’m watching a movie that I’ve never seen before, I check how much time is left because that will tell me which way the movie will be going. This makes me […]