Tag: List

Secrets of Being Male

[My doors are still frozen shut so publishing these sacred secrets of being a man might be the result of low oxygen in my home.] Most men know nothing about football and when there are no women in the room, we actually talk about quilting, mostly. All men name their testicles; however, it is forbidden […]

The Aardvark who Made a Comeback

Once there was an aardvark who’d enjoyed some success as a stand-up comic, partly because it was the right time for his special brand of political humor and partly because he could be paid in termites; but, time is not kind to comics and the aardvark fell out of fashion; in fact, there was a […]

Stuff and Junk

I’ve written things that were masterpieces but not “beloved masterpieces”. Because the only works they get the designation as “beloved” are children’s books. Why? Because if children love a book you’ll know it because they’ll demand you read it to them over and over and OVER until you finally FREAK OUT and replace its ending […]

Signs Your Career as a Clown Might be Coming to an End

[Props to Deb for literally emailing me the idea] Your unofficial clown name is, “Giggles, the Clown Everyone Should Keep a Close Eye on”… Most clowns produce coins from OUT of a child’s ear. You were caught stuffing coins in. Your clown makeup is registered with Clown International, local law enforcement and the FBI. Your […]

Insul-pliments

I’m not saying that you suck. I’m just saying that, if I had to make a list of people who didn’t suck, you wouldn’t be on it… She’s a handsome woman with a great personality. He’s a quiet unassuming man who doesn’t look very much like a pedophile. He’s a man who goes through a […]

Posts navigation

Older posts