How to Keep the Population Down in a Bored and Horny World

Create a 75 mph speed limit everywhere, even parking lots; make it mandatory. Elect an anti-vaxer for president. Remove any limitations on how much mercury there can be in Go-gurts. Impose a death penalty for things that currently aren’t capital crimes… like sweating, for example… Allow people to return disappointing children to the hospital […]

Not So Random Thoughts on ‘Security’

“There is safety in numbers” means little to a man being trampled by a panicked crowd… Ben Franklin once said, “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”. This may be true, but I’d give up my right to bear arms if it ensure […]

Why I Didn’t Get a Pony

[Thanks to Jack Shalom for the idea! Jack is proof that anyone who likes radio shows and magic cannot be all bad] My parents wanted to instill in me the joy of having my fondest desires frustrated. All of my previous pets had died of mysterious stompings. Santa neglected to poke air-holes in the over-sized […]

This Day in History: 25 October

On this day in 1760, George III became king of all Britain. Although he was best known as the man who lost the American colonies, he also defeated Napoleon, so it evens out. He became blind and mad in 1810 so at least he never had to see how crazy he had become. George ruled […]

Boating Safety Tips

Make sure someone else knows your itinerary, your boat number and who to call if you don’t come back. If that someone is on the boat with you, this precaution will lose most of its effectiveness. Be sure that everyone has a life jacket or at least has a life-jacketed passenger assigned to them that […]