This Day in History: 25 October

On this day in 1760, George III became king of all Britain. Although he was best known as the man who lost the American colonies, he also defeated Napoleon, so it evens out. He became blind and mad in 1810 so at least he never had to see how crazy he had become. George ruled for Britain for sixty years, which is sixty years longer than most of you…

Speaking of Britain, Uganda threw off the shackles of British rule and put on the shackles of self-rule in 1962. On October 25^th of that year, they joined the United Nations, getting the coveted seat near the bathroom. Uganda has been through some rough times since then, but, after much effort, they are now a nation where insane cannibal dictators are no longer a problem.

Also on this day in 1962, Nelson Mandela was sentenced to five years internment for organizing a strike and leaving South Africa without saying “mother, may I?”. Unfortunately for the apartheid government, Mandela continued to influence others to the point that people started referring to his prison as “Mandela University”. Mandela was released in 1990 and became president of South Africa in 1994… although not necessarily in that order…

On this day in 1425, Henry the Fifth of England was victorious at the Battle of Agincourt. Tired, sick, outnumbered and unable to say the word, “chrysanthemum”, Henry’s forces triumphed over the French. Historians attribute the outcome to muddy terrain, use of pikes and to the fact that the British didn’t lose. The English observe the anniversary of this battle by boiling a roast until it has the texture and consistency of a mildewed beach towel…

Katy Perry was born on October 25 1984, with both ‘X’ chromosomes performing admirably. Initially unsuccessful, Perry was advised to explore more accessible themes and to show more cleavage than a Naples streetwalker. Hits include Hot n Cold, I Kissed a Girl and Ur So Gay. Katy Perry was in the news recently when children’s show Sesame Street cancelled her segment, due to outspoken stances on both the letter ‘G’ and the number ‘7’…

Painter Pablo Picasso was born on this day in 1881, marking the beginning of his “Blue Period”. As the founder of cubism, Picasso has done for art what a new puppy does for your living room carpet. He died in 1973 and was buried upside down in a klein bottle.

Author John Steinbeck won a Nobel Prize in literature on this day in 1962 for works including Tortilla Flat, Of Mice and Men and Grapes of Wrath. His unflinching look at life in America was thought by some to be unpatriotic because he didn’t include the phrase, “At least we’re not in Russia” at the end of each chapter. As a reporter, Steinbeck visited his son in Vietnam during the war and manned a machine gun while his son’s unit slept…which makes the hat I bought for my son’s birthday seem measly by comparison…