How to Keep the Population Down in a Bored and Horny World

 

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Create a 75 mph speed limit everywhere, even parking lots; make it mandatory.

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Elect an anti-vaxer for president.

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Remove any limitations on how much mercury there can be in Go-gurts.

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Impose a death penalty for things that currently aren’t capital crimes… like sweating, for example…

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Allow people to return disappointing children to the hospital for a full refund.

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Hold running of the bull events in shopping malls and nursing homes.

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Replace the five food groups in school lunches with two food groups, two non-toxic building materials and a pesticide.

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Make end of life decisions for the elderly using Dungeons and Dragons dice.

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Build more nuclear reactors in earthquake zones and build them under fireworks factories.

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Two words: Semi-permanent condoms…

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New law that a woman must be able to parallel park her uterus before she can get pregnant.

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Hold a town lottery where every household draws a marble from a bag and the person who gets the black marble gets to shoot five people of her choice.

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Transfer responsibility for the Department of Health and Human Services to a doomsday cult.

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[If you liked this, try Fun Facts About Language, Speech and Hearing ]

17 thoughts on “How to Keep the Population Down in a Bored and Horny World

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