Landmark Court Cases You’ve Never Heard of For Good Reason

Chapman v. Bocco the Squirrel – Albert Chapman assaulted Will Haines, AKA Tennessee University mascot Bocco the Fighting Squirrel, during a rowing competition. Convicted of simple assault, Chapman appealed his conviction on the grounds that, Bocco, at least during university sporting events, was legally an animal; and, that because he was the “fighting squirrel”, Chapman […]

The Random Thoughts that Shot Liberty Valance

I can forgive my ex-girlfriend for a lot of things but NOT for neglecting to tell me that she was imaginary. I’m uncomfortable with the term “tree frog” because I feel that it imposes a lifestyle choice on the frog… Sometimes, I like to get into a cab and say, “follow that car!” and just […]

Sciences that Should be Gotten Rid of

Forestry: I’m not sure which is more surprising: That they have a special branch of science for botanists who don’t have the ability to interact with other humans; or, that ALL botanists aren’t included in that group. Usually, when someone tells you that they have a degree in forestry, the next thing they say to […]

Common Statements that are Nearly Always LIES

“I’m doing you a favor”: This is usually said after pushing a confession of a triple homicide in front of you and handing you a pen. If someone has to tell you that they are doing you a favor then they aren’t. “I just want a guy who makes me laugh”: Ironically, when I hear […]

Truck Stops Part 2: Fine Dining

Every truck stop has a “secret menu” of foods that you have to ask for. My favorite? “The Safe-to-eat Fish”. If a truck stop has a huge sign that is at least a hundred feet above the ground, it is probably a clean and well-run establishment. This is moot, however, because, once you get onto […]