All Quiet on the Random Thoughts

Sun Tzu said, “When you forces are strong, appear weak; and, when your forces are weak, appear strong”. That’s why, whenever I walk into a bar full of tough guys, I always make it a point to knock out the smallest, weakest man in the room. Just in case they all have knowledge of […]

Truck Stops, Part One: Bathrooms!

Voiding in a truck stop bathroom is a great way to find out whether or not you can hold your breath for the duration of a bowel movement… If you are going to put a woman’s phone number on the wall, remember to include the area code and if she is actually a woman. Nothing […]

Seven Habits of Highly Ineffectual People

Don’t be afraid to ask questions: And, I mean a LOT of questions… so many questions that no one you work for will ever ask you to do anything ever again. Network: You may think you are alone out there, but there are a lot of other screw-ups that are just waiting to share what […]

What May be My Worst Ideas Ever

A light opera about salt-water crocodiles Aerosol grape jelly A seeing eye rhinoceros so the blind can navigate through packed crowds A pine cone circus A little refrigerator you can fit inside your microwave. A line of condolence cards based upon the movie Ben Hur. A television series about a fat, pony-tailed humorist who fights […]

The Chair-throwing Hegemony of Complaining

[Everyone needs to learn how to complain effectively. Because, it is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease, at least until someone becomes proactive and replaces the entire wheel] First, is your complaint valid? The less valid the complaint, the more energy you must put into the complaining. Your new shirt has a hole in […]