Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol, Anymore

I want my public nudity to be MY idea… not the idea of the worm in a bottle of mescal… I dread accidentally ordering a “girl drink”. That warm feeling where you feel content and the world loves you lasts about ten minutes; then, you hit a bouncer with a bar stool because he purposely […]

Fun Things to Do at the Doctor’s Office

Take a lot of blood pressure medicine before your appointment. That way, when the blood technician tries to get a sample, it will take forty five minutes. Try to talk the doctor into prescribing heroin. Let everyone go ahead of you until the very end of the day, then, when they call you to come […]

Random Thoughts Part Four: Son of the Ghost of Random Thoughts

I think that a man should be allowed to walk around naked in his own house; my renters, however, did not agree… If you killed Frankenstein’s monster, would its ghost be the monster or would it be several separate ghosts for each body part? It is a bad workman who blames his tools. It is […]