Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol, Anymore

Chicagoans Pack New Hanukkah Pop-Up Bar This Holiday : NPR

I want my public nudity to be MY idea… not the idea of the worm in a bottle of mescal…

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I dread accidentally ordering a “girl drink”.

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That warm feeling where you feel content and the world loves you lasts about ten minutes; then, you hit a bouncer with a bar stool because he purposely looks like your basketball coach.

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I want to remember my previous night’s sexual partners if only to help the police get my wallet back.

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If I want something to make me forget pieces of my life and disrupt my balance, aging does that very nicely, thank you…

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I don’t understand beer, anymore.

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I have nothing against porcelain, I just don’t want to use it as a pillow.

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When I’m drunk, I feel as if I’m the greatest lover in the world. Then, I sober up and realize I’m only the fifth greatest.

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If I’m hammered and the song, Footloose, comes on the jukebox, EVERYONE is in for an embarrassing four minutes…

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I drank in moderation; but, often I’d drink in moderation several times in the same hour…

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12 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol, Anymore

  1. They really have made beer more complicated. Each beer now has its list of ingredients and I have to wonder if I want a beer with notes of pine or guava. By the time I figure out which I would prefer the meal is over and I just drank water. Probably for the best!

    Liked by 1 person

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