Still More Leftovers

I Published Cooking with Your Children but a lot of people were way off in what the book was about. ☺ Because lips are sensitive, even a mild blow can cause bruising or even death… if you meet up with some nut that gets enraged at the sight of bruised lips. ☺ My old girlfriend […]

Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol, Anymore

I want my public nudity to be MY idea… not the idea of the worm in a bottle of mescal… I dread accidentally ordering a “girl drink”. That warm feeling where you feel content and the world loves you lasts about ten minutes; then, you hit a bouncer with a bar stool because he purposely […]

The Terrors of Malt Liquor

Malt liquor is simply beer with a high alcohol content that tastes like a decayed body in a swamp… It is customary, when drinking “forties” with friends, to pour a little onto the ground for friends who have died. If none of your friends have died, take heart… drinking malt liquor should kill one or […]

Random Thoughts on a Snowy Day

People who say that there is nothing funny about compound fractures aren’t looking hard enough… After reading Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason, I published my own critique of pure reason. I think that my critique was more effective because I managed to connect pure reason with Stalin, Saddam Hussein and the mafia. Also, I implied […]