Exotic Pets: Which One is Right for YOU?

Pot-bellied Pig: This pet says “attention whore” WAY better than dying your hair green or piercing your eyelids. When people approach you about the farm animal you have on a leash, look embarrassed at the attention as you soak it in like a vital nutrient… ☺ Hissing Cockroaches: The word “pet” is a hard one […]

Some Bland Facts about Tofu

Tofu may reduce the risk of cancer. It might also bring you gold bars and unicorns while you sleep. Women who are going through menopause should eat tofu because the drudgery of eating it is a great thing to blame your wild moods swings upon. Freezing tofu turns it yellow. It is still good to […]

Why I Mailed a Dead Cat to My Senator

[Another title first, content afterwards exercise. If you have any others, post them in the messages below] Because the live ones usually manage to scratch their way out of the box in transit. Mailing dead animals is protected speech, like picketing and throwing hand grenades. I’m angry that he won’t pass laws against cruelty to […]