Some Bland Facts about Tofu

Tofu - Wikiwand

Tofu may reduce the risk of cancer. It might also bring you gold bars and unicorns while you sleep.

How to Cook Soybeans

Women who are going through menopause should eat tofu because the drudgery of eating it is a great thing to blame your wild moods swings upon.

How to Cook Soybeans

Freezing tofu turns it yellow. It is still good to eat… the yellow is just the blandness trying to escape.

How to Cook Soybeans

In the 1930’s a plastic was developed from tofu which was a surprise to literally no one.

How to Cook Soybeans

Tofu has no flavor of it’s own. If you cook it with something flavorful the tofu will suck the flavor out of that, too.

How to Cook Soybeans

Tofu is a complete protein, like a deer stuffed with a pig that has been stuffed with quail…

How to Cook Soybeans

I cannot eat tofu due to a pact I made with myself as a child never to eat ANY product that has been made from curdled bean juice.

How to Cook Soybeans

Tofu has been around for thousands of years, so READ THE USE-BY DATE ON YOUR PACKAGE…

How to Cook Soybeans

Tofu should be stored in water, by which I mean, thrown into the ocean.

How to Cook Soybeans

Tofu is not just for vegetarians. It is also appropriate for omnivores who’ve committed atrocities.

How to Cook Soybeans

23 thoughts on “Some Bland Facts about Tofu

  1. I think women going through menopause should just carry blocks of tofu around. You can throw it as hard as you want in an emotional rage and not break anything. I think I will be heading to the store shortly….

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Tofu also causes males to grow bigger breasts, as it releases more estrogen to be released into the body. Something like that. Google tofu/estrogen. So…world leaders should eat LOTS of Tofu…perhaps there would be less testosterone based conflict like wars.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s