Youth, and How to Run Screaming from it

Youth, they say, is wasted on the young… but, if you give it to the elderly, they’ll just break a hip trying to use it. After attending my granddaughter’s second birthday party (she’s fifty but has only had two actual parties), I’ve been thinking about youth. I don’t see myself as wanting my youth back… […]

Rough Moth Stand

I keep a crash test dummy in the front passenger seat… mostly so I can drive in the HOV lanes. I get to work a LOT faster and it doesn’t care how recklessly I drive. They say that celery has “negative calories”, meaning that you expend more calories chewing and digesting it than it adds […]

I Want All the Lists and I Want Them Now!

Greed is the act of taking a certain amount more than your fair share over a particular period of time; usually, the certain amount is “everything” and the time is “before anyone finds out”. One of the longest silent movies ever made was Greed, starring Zasu Pitts. What’s it like watching a six-hour silent movie? […]

Stupid Animals: A Poem

They say pigs are awfully clever but, can they do your taxes? No, never! . They say the smartest birds are crows but, how one got stuck in my chimney nobody knows. . They say an elephant never forgets But, if they were smarter, they’d make better pets. . If a dog were smartes […]