Excerpts from the New Republican Police Reform Bill

Did Republicans miss the point? You decide! Any officer standing on a suspect’s neck more than five minutes must be prosecuted for loitering. For the purpose of this bill, “tickling” is any action using the fingers, hands, feather or firearm to induce laughter or death. Any officer who shoots a fleeing suspect in the […]

Stuff that has Gotten Me in Trouble

I sent a condolence card to a friend but I added “if she faked her death, please disregard this card”… I was wondering what would happen if I put an entire box of detergent into the washing machine and while I was wondering that, I stole my mom’s purse. When the police were searching my […]

I Go Dark: Rioting Tips

The first rule of rioting is, make sure there are a lot of people around you who are also rioting. If it is just you, you aren’t really rioting… just acting like a nut. Dress appropriately: If the riot is about the military firing on civilians, avoid attending the riot in your dress blues. Wear […]