Stuff that has Gotten Me in Trouble

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I have a restraining order from this magnetar

I sent a condolence card to a friend but I added “if she faked her death, please disregard this card”…

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I was wondering what would happen if I put an entire box of detergent into the washing machine and while I was wondering that, I stole my mom’s purse.

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When the police were searching my home for drugs I might’ve remarked, “You are WAY off”…

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I got in trouble for taping a pop singer without her permission. I taped her to a fence post.

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One day, while I was working as a surgical nurse, I found out that you need training to be a surgical nurse.

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I secretly changed my wedding vows in order to get my spouse to confess to involvement in a pyramid scheme I was working on.

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I parked my car across six parking spots, four of which were already occupied by other cars.

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I got caught selling my medication to hypochondriacs.

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I went to the police and confessed to every crime that had been committed that week but then I went to far and confessed to lying about those confessions.

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I got in trouble for driving in the HOV lane with too many passengers.

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11 thoughts on “Stuff that has Gotten Me in Trouble

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