I sent a condolence card to a friend but I added “if she faked her death, please disregard this card”…
I was wondering what would happen if I put an entire box of detergent into the washing machine and while I was wondering that, I stole my mom’s purse.
When the police were searching my home for drugs I might’ve remarked, “You are WAY off”…
I got in trouble for taping a pop singer without her permission. I taped her to a fence post.
One day, while I was working as a surgical nurse, I found out that you need training to be a surgical nurse.
I secretly changed my wedding vows in order to get my spouse to confess to involvement in a pyramid scheme I was working on.
I parked my car across six parking spots, four of which were already occupied by other cars.
I got caught selling my medication to hypochondriacs.
I went to the police and confessed to every crime that had been committed that week but then I went to far and confessed to lying about those confessions.
I got in trouble for driving in the HOV lane with too many passengers.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
What’s a HOV lane?
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High occupancy vehicle… usually three or four in one car at a minimum. Encourages car-pooling…
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Never heard of it, must be a yankee thing. 😜
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It’s a big-city/clogged highway thing…
I take the subway so I don’t really encounter it…
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Can you please buy stronger tape? Taylor Swift escaped that post last month….
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She chewed through her arm… what could I do?
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The “you are way off!” line made me snortle – good one! 🙂
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Thank you for the snortle, Robyn…
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Marriage. Marriage got me in trouble.
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Join the club, amigo!
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LOL!
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