Why I’m Going on an All Mayonnaise Diet

No one recommends an all mayo diet so when I go on one I won’t look like a “follower”. Mayonnaise doesn’t require chewing, which will save my teeth for an extra decade of snarling at people. I ate a lot of raw vegetables as a young man, so if I eat only mayo until I […]

Why My Toolbox is Full of Soup

Because, if you boil a socket set long enough, it makes its own broth. Because, when I filled it with marshmallows, I just got ants. Because it’s more filling than a toolbox full of salad. You’d be surprised at the number of household repairs that involve croutons. I keep hoping that, if I carry it […]

Thoughts on Salad and Other Household Poisons

Salad is defined as a cold mix of green leafy vegetable combined with other raw vegetables… except when it isn’t… then, it’s defined as a mix of cut up foods mixed with a dressing… except when it isn’t. The best rule of thumb is, if you are eating it and wishing you were eating something […]