Some Thoughts on Taxigami

A few years ago, being unemployed and without prospects, I gambled and spent my last six thousand dollars on a one hour synergy seminar at the Holiday Inn ballroom near where my doctor used to live. And, from that little pep talk, I formed the germ of an idea… but the realization of that idea would require training. So, I gambled my car and some jewelry that my mother wasn’t using much and I earned my Bachelor of Art’s degree in Taxidermy at Perdue University. Then, selling the superfluous organs in my body, I made my way to Japan for a corporate origami course… one of those intense classes that makes you stand on a street corner with a bucket on your head and your pants down, reciting the school motto. Although, on reflection, we never did have a class in anything or do much more than humiliate each other, somehow I learned the Japanese art of origami.

My taxidermy/origami synthesis, which I like to call “taxigami”, has made me a very sought after artisan. Using my origami skills on the corpse of an animal, I can, with a few deft folds, make that animal look up to five years younger. Let’s say you stalked and killed a tiger and let’s say it was REALLY old and arthritic and residing at the Toronto zoo. I can make that tiger look as if it was in the prime of its life… and even forge the documents you’ll need to avoid arrest for that zoo thing. But, it isn’t just age. Sometimes you kill, through no fault of your own, a really UGLY example of the animal you want a trophy of. A few folds and you’ve got the Adonis of antelopes, the Helen of hippos or the Marquis of Queensbury.

But, even THAT isn’t all I can do with my customers’ animal cadavers. You may come in with a deer, but a few complicated folds and twists and you can walk out with WHATEVER ANIMAL YOU WANT… If you bring in two deer, you can walk out with a stuffed bear and two squirrels. I once was given a dead buffalo and, working for more than a month, I ended up with a grey wolf, two coyotes and a swan. And, I don’t even remember WHERE I GOT THE BEAK. Needless to say, this is a thoughtful and meditative process…

5 thoughts on “Some Thoughts on Taxigami

      1. He’s the nineteenth century poet who wrote The Owl and the Pussycat and a LOT of limericks. Mostly for kids but his longer poems are kind of fun. I used to read them to my kids and got no complaints.

        Note that I didn’t actually answer your question…

        Liked by 1 person

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