I cheated on my math test. I memorized all the integers before the test…
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I cheated on my math test… with my social studies test… well, actually I had a three-way with the social studies test and my SATs. It’s hotter than it sounds…
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I cheated on my English test… I copied from the Hispanic kid sitting at the desk in front of me and then I used Google Translate on my phone.
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I cheated on my philosophy test; I had the meaning of life written on my hand.
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I cheated on my calculus test; I panicked and managed to get a glimpse of the paper of the girl to my right as she was getting up to turn it in… so hopefully, the answer to question four is “Sarah Johnson”…
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I cheated on my biology exam: I managed to sneak an amoeba and an electron microscope into the test room.
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I cheated on my history exam. I used a time machine to go back and change things to match my test answers. Unfortunately, I stepped on a butterfly while convincing Napoleon not to invade Russia and I came back to a present where Donald Trump is running for president. I am SO sorry…
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I cheated on my quantum physics test. I kept peeking at the answers on a piece of paper I kept in a box. The teacher noticed but when he opened the box, all he could find was a dead cat.
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I cheated on my biology exam: Instead of dissecting the frog they gave me, I brought one in that had its organs pre-labled.
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I cheated on my cooking exam: We were supposed to make shortbread cookies but I accidentally made tallbread cookies. So, before the instructor came by to check, I had to teach them to slouch.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I KNEW you were to blame for Trump!
I didn’t know how, but now it makes sense…
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On the plus side, I’m also the one responsible for the General Mills’ snack, Bugles… I have GOT to stop stepping on butterflies when I go back in time…
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Bugles are good.
But they’re not make up for Trump good….
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I’ll try harder…
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I never cheated, but I never got a job as CEO either. Maybe I should have.
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I had an anatomy professor who told us, “When you take an exam in my course, you’re bringing a body with you and it’s not cheating to use it.” He didn’t say anything about scalpels.
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How ’bout an x-ray machine? Or, better yet, those x-ray glasses they used to sell in comic books…
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I always wanted those x-ray spex! But since I wasn’t allowed to read comic books and could only read my friends’s comics in the vacant lot (since it was an abandoned orchard and we could hide out there), I wasn’t supposed to know about them, much less have them.
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We didn’t get many of them because my parents felt books were more cost effective… But, when I got to be a teenager, I started buying “The Shadow” comic books. But, they had Shadow pulp novels and, again, it was more cost effective. Still waiting for a decent Shadow movie…
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