What Will We Do With All Those Pennies?

Use the pennies to make puppet faces to use for a puppet show. Possible plot: Abraham Lincoln and his wife, Abraham Lincoln, invent a cloning machine to create an army of Abraham Lincolns to defeat the evil genius, Abraham Lincoln.

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Pennies are the perfect size for coasters at the next tea party you hold for your sister’s hamsters.

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Remember the term “penny for your thoughts”? With a coffee can FULL of pennies, you can buy every thought in a person’s head. Sure, most of those thoughts will be mundane, such as “I like mayonnaise” or “I haven’t scanned a document in a while”; however, if you are lucky, you could end up with the meaning of life or the recipe for cold fusion…

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With a penny, you can buy ownership in 0.87% of an orange.

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You can use a penny for one of the leads when you make a battery out of a lemon. This isn’t important, now; but, if we switch from oil, wind, hydro and solar to a citrus-based power grid, it could be.

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Pennies are mostly zinc. You can throw them at vampires to keep them at bay. Vampires don’t have a weakness to zinc; but, having pennies thrown at you is annoying for anyone…

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The zinc in a penny can lead to potentially fatal hemolytic anemia in dogs and can also kill parrots. So, if you are being harassed by dogs and parrots, just bring along some cookies with pennies baked into them.

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Give a penny to a panhandler if you ever want to know what it is like to be cursed at by a crazy person who also smells bad.

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Scrape the letters and numbers off of several pennies and you have everything you need to make a tiny printing press.

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You can wash your hands with pennies instead of bar soap if you ever get tired of not being committed to a mental institution.