Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
She must have no visible tattoos. Where she might get invisible tattoos is none of my business. ♀ She should think the previous joke was funny… or thought-provoking… or, at least not throw a wrench at me… ♀ She must be tone-deaf; then, I can tell her that I’m a great singer and SHE’LL NEVER […]
Read More What I Look for in a GirlfriendWe had a funeral for my hand-puppet last week. I’d had the puppet for about five years… made it myself. It really came in handy when children came over and I wanted them to go away and never come back. Plus, my one-on-one time with the puppet really helped me work some stuff out. As […]
Read More The Puppet Who Couldn’t Take it AnymoreGiven a choice between two slow-moving lines at the grocery store, I will always manage to choose the line with anthrax. ♠ My shins can unerringly find any coffee table in complete darkness. ♠ I can make my grandma’s famous Million Dollar Salmon Dip… Note: It is famous because of all that botulism afterwards. ♠ […]
Read More Stuff I’m Good atSneak into your victim’s home every night and steal all his lemons and oranges and wait for him to die of scurvy. ♣ While your target sleeps, carefully drill a hole in his window, insert a plastic straw and methodically suck all the oxygen out of the room. ♣ Stab him with a knife made […]
Read More Ingenious Methods of Murder
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 