Sneak into your victim’s home every night and steal all his lemons and oranges and wait for him to die of scurvy.
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While your target sleeps, carefully drill a hole in his window, insert a plastic straw and methodically suck all the oxygen out of the room.
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Stab him with a knife made out of ice, then use the ice to cool one of your drinks, then, eat the body.
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Create a robot that looks and moves like your victim in every way; then, when he leaves his house in the morning, drop the robot on his head.
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Put bird seed in your target’s shampoo so when she goes outside, blue jays will eat her head…
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If your target rides a bike, string some piano wire up about throat-high along the bike path. Then, while he is looking for the rest of the piano, drop a robot on his head.
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Knock your target unconscious and take him to the emergency room. Tell the staff he’s lost a LOT of blood. The transfusion they give him will provide more blood than his body can hold and he will explode. It will look like an accident.
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Sneak into the house and turn her thermostat up to a thousand degrees.
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While the target sleeps, fill his body cavity with fissionable material and explosives. Set off the explosives and wait for runaway fission to take place turning most of the area around you into a radioactive crater. Repeat if necessary.
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I bought my target a toreador’s hat and a red nightie. Then, one night, I released a bull into her house.
Who has the time to wait for scurvy? We have lots of blue jays, that seems to be the way to go.
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Do you have anyone in mind?
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Perhaps….
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Scurvy won’t work, I’d paint a target on his back and invite him to the archery club 😊
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I LIKE it, Deb!
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I’m glad, finding fun ways to kill people is my new hobby
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Turn on a wood chipper right by his home and when he comes out to investigate the noise, drop a robot on his head…
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So, not only is he dead, but you’ll also get all the mulch you’ll ever need. Very Earth-friendly, Joanne!
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Yes mulched up human remains is great for the garden, or so they say…
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For your “secret garden”…
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If your target is a butler, kill him with a wine bottle (French derivation of the word “butler”) and leave a note saying, “I did it.” Case closed.
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“He was killed by the ballerina… It’s an open and jete case”
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