Notes on the Roadrunner

You don’t see a bird like the roadrunner every day… unless you live next door to one and it washes its car a lot… which would be frustrating because you’d like just ONE day to be edging your lawn and not have to make small talk with it while it waxes its Trans Am… Roadrunners […]

How to get Your Party-Goers to LEAVE

Lie on the floor and roll from one side of the room to the other over and over. Tell everyone that the party is moving to the patio. By the time they realize there is no patio, the door is locked. When you want everyone to leave, release toddlers into the crowd. After the adults […]

How Numbers Came to Be

[another excerpt from my book] Until recently, no one knew how the numbers came to be. Archaeologists assumed that all numbers were discovered at the same time, but that begged the question, “where did they keep them?”. Numbers have been found in a cave in the Holy Land, along with two books of the Talmud […]

Why I Might be a Lesbian

[Being a straight white male, it never occurred to me that I might become a lesbian; but, it turns out, I’ve got a lot in common with them] Like a lesbian, I enjoy having sex with women. These women weren’t lesbians, of course… at least they weren’t before the sex… Like a lesbian, no woman […]

For the Love of Algebra

Algebra is the sloppy Judas-kiss that is planted on the mouth of every middle-school math student. You’ve learned the numbers… all of them. You can add them, multiply them, subtract them and, on rare occasions, you can even do long division. So, what is the response of educators? “Feeling smug knowing all the numbers? Well, […]