How to get Your Party-Goers to LEAVE

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Lie on the floor and roll from one side of the room to the other over and over.

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Tell everyone that the party is moving to the patio. By the time they realize there is no patio, the door is locked.

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When you want everyone to leave, release toddlers into the crowd. After the adults have fled, you’ll still have toddlers; but, that’s what the dingoes are for…

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Announce a Red Hot Chili Peppers sing-along. Some fat guy WILL take his shirt off. That fat guy MAY be me…

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Tell everyone that you’ll be holding a raffle to determine whose car you’ll be raffling off… for charity!

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Bring out the Tupperware samples!

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Find the biggest guy at your party and KNOCK HIM OUT. By the time the police get there, most of the party goers will be gone… except the big guy, who should just be waking up. I wouldn’t be there when he does…

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Use the word “ebola” in a sentence very loudly as in, “Ebola is a deadly disease and everyone get the HELL out of my house”

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Warn party-goers that the snow is getting dangerously deep and all you have available is a king-size bed big enough for just you and three women.

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Set someone’s car on fire… unless you live in Oklahoma or Texas, then you’ll need to set someone’s horse on fire.

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18 thoughts on “How to get Your Party-Goers to LEAVE

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