Notes on the Roadrunner

Image result for greater roadrunner

You don’t see a bird like the roadrunner every day… unless you live next door to one and it washes its car a lot… which would be frustrating because you’d like just ONE day to be edging your lawn and not have to make small talk with it while it waxes its Trans Am…

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Roadrunners inhabit most of our Southwest as do a huge number of retirees.  The trick to telling them apart is that roadrunners don’t complain about how long the lines are at the pharmacy. 

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Unlike the cartoon character, the roadrunner cannot violate the laws of physics… most animals cannot, with the exception of Hyperbears and the Mobius Shrike.

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The roadrunner is nearly two feet long and weighs about a pound.  This means that, if you put six roadrunners in a burlap bag and waited a few days, you could produce roadrunners from that bag until you ran out.  Explain THAT.

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As far as we know, the fastest speed for a roadrunner was twenty-six miles per hour, measured and recorded by someone who probably had very little going on in his life.

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Like Fred Flintstone, a roadrunner has four toes on each foot.  Two of the toes face forward and two face back, so if you are tracking a roadrunner there’s a fifty percent chance that HE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU…

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Roadrunners brood three to six eggs at a time.  Eighteen days after the chicks hatch, they are ready to go out on their own, feed themselves and complain about the long line at the pharmacy.

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A roadrunner’s coloring is brown with black streaks.  So, if your pet roadrunner isn’t moving very much, it may not be dead:  It might just be a discarded Nutty Buddy.

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While running, a roadrunner uses its tail as a rudder.  It also uses its bad breath as a birth control device.

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Roadrunners kill and eat rattlesnakes through a process of taunting it to strike, grabbing its head and slamming it around until the snake either dies or falls asleep due to not sleeping the previous night.

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A roadrunner’s body temperature has a ten-degree range causing many to mistake a fever for the flavor of a Pringles for simply a reaction to a very warm day.

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Roadrunners form long-term bonds.  They often build their nests in cacti because that’s what monogamy does to a creature.

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Hopi Indians believed that roadrunners protected from evil spirits which might come in the form of a snake, lizard or long line at a pharmacy.

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Roadrunner fossils have been found in the La Brea tar pits indicating that, millions of years ago, roadrunner fossils walked the Earth.

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Like Frontier Airlines, a roadrunner is capable of flying for short distances…

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19 thoughts on “Notes on the Roadrunner

  1. that’s what monogamy does to a creature…that happens to birds too? My world was an open invitation to party before I got married…not I’m in jail. She wanted me isolated so she could own me all to herself.

    Liked by 1 person

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