Warm Thoughts about Fireplaces

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A fireplace can be a wonderful addition to any home that can benefit from open fires in the living area.  The entire family can gather around, roast marshmallows, hot dogs or just throw in a few aerosol cans for an impromptu game of “hairspray chicken”.

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A flue allows smoke to escape up through the chimney.  Open it if you are starting a fire; or, close it, start the fire to test every smoke detector in your home all at once.

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If you own more than one fireplace and you decide you want a fire in the other location, simply move the fire from one to the other using a wheel barrow and asbestos gloves.

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Keep your chimney clean to keep Santa Claus from keying your car.

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Keep your fireplace swept clean or creosote deposits can catch fire and burn down your fireplace.

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Glass screens are decorative and can keep sparks and kittens from getting out of the fireplace.

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Not being able to start a fire does not indicate that you are less of a man… just that you are an ineffectual wimp.

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Tinder helps in starting a fire, especially if you download a book to it on starting fires.

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Throwing various salts into the flames can produce different colors, creating a romantic environment that can last up until you’ve turned the television on.

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Fireplace wood needs to sit for a while to “season”.  During that time, the wood dehydrates and gets depressed so that anything you do to it is okay with it…

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20 thoughts on “Warm Thoughts about Fireplaces

      1. You know, I never have. We’re not fireplace people., There was a rumor of a game of hairspray chicken that got out of control at the neighbors so we had ours capped 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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