Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
[I’ve been having trouble writing so you’ll get THIS and LIKE it] Because I hate the word “kiosk”… ☼ Old people spend their mornings walking in the mall rather than doing their job: Telling young people everything that is wrong with their generation. ☼ Ever since the pet stores stopped selling puppies, I’ve spent my […]
Read More Why I Burned the Mall to the GroundRub two sticks together. Invariably, afterwards, one of the sticks lights up a cigarette while the other wants to spoon. Use the embers from that cigarette to start a fire. ☼ If you have car keys, use them to drive somewhere there are matches. ☼ If you have a gun and ammunition, take a bullet […]
Read More How to Start a Fire without MatchesDrill Instructor: Pull safety ring from trigger What are you doing? We’ve got women can do that better than you. From now on your fire extinguisher’s name is “Janet” Step back and spray burning area Now, you will do fifty pushups! Donald Trump: Pull safety ring from trigger You know firemen saw me handling a […]
Read More Fire Extinguisher Instructions Written By:Emphysema will get you excused from almost any chore. ◙ A cigarette used to indicate the end of sex, which used to be helpful because, without it, I’d lose my place and keep going long after it was pleasurable for either of us. ◙ When people see you with a lit cigarette, they know you […]
Read More Why We Should All Smoke CigarettesA fireplace can be a wonderful addition to any home that can benefit from open fires in the living area. The entire family can gather around, roast marshmallows, hot dogs or just throw in a few aerosol cans for an impromptu game of “hairspray chicken”. A flue allows smoke to escape up through the chimney. […]
Read More Warm Thoughts about Fireplaces
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 