Emphysema will get you excused from almost any chore.
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A cigarette used to indicate the end of sex, which used to be helpful because, without it, I’d lose my place and keep going long after it was pleasurable for either of us.
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When people see you with a lit cigarette, they know you have mastered fire… the bare minimum for being a homo sapien…
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A lot of smoke in your mouth keeps your teeth from seeing each other and starting a fight with your tongue.
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The Surgeon General may not advocate smoking; but, the Surgical Nurse Corporal says it relaxes her.
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If you don’t smoke, you’ll have to rely on second-hand smoke, which has BEEN IN SOMEONE’S MOUTH ALREADY!
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Smoking reduces birth-weight so you can put off buying toddler clothes for three extra months.
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Kissing a smoker is like kissing an ashtray… and I mean that in a GOOD way…
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In prison, cigarettes make a better currency than cash. Don’t believe me? Try smoking a nickel.
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Smoking desensitizes your taste buds so you can eat ANYTHING ANYWHERE!
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
You forgot that you get to collect all those cool cigarette cases
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My mom used to collect the “stamps” that came with each pack. They were like Green Stamps. She used to joke that she was saving up to buy my dad an iron lung.
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That’s what I like to see … forethought
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My dad spent twelve hours a day in a military plane over the ocean. He smoked three packs a day…
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Your Mom had a wicked sense of humor!
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Second hand smoke. The Goodwill of lung cancer….
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Why give just one person lung cancer?
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Sharing is caring.
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I miss smoking sometimes. A guy got on the bus today and I could smell cigarette smoke on him as he walked past and I thought how nice it would be to sit out in the sun and smoke again *sigh*
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I know… I gave it up twenty-seven years ago and still miss it, sometimes…
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Luckily my crushing poverty stops me from smoking again…
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You are lucky. It is pretty deadly. My dad ended up on oxygen the last decade of his life with only half a lung working…
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When I was scrolling through my WP feed to get to where I left off yesterday, I saw a picture of a guy with a hundred cigarettes in his mouth – and I knew EXACTLY who put that there. I guess it will be good to light up before I have to eat something like a fish popsicle – drown those taste buds before they can assure me I am eating something awful!
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I AM kind of predictable, Robyn.
My dad smoked two packs a day and could probably taste nothing. He would take us to the worst restaurants. After the quit smoking, he took us out to the Dairy Queen for supper. Halfway through the meal, he stopped and said, “Hey, this tastes like sh*t”…
He was not wrong…
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That surgical nurse corporal is my kind of people.
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And, she’s always got a book of matches in her purse!
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And I a flask of gasoline. We are meant to be.
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Never smoked, so smokes would never kill….
Now I am old, and waiting to see what will.
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When I die, it will be this way:
With the cure just two days away…
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