New Year’s Resolutions

Exercise more – It’s little things that provide us with more muscle tone and aerobic exercise; for example, buy heavier snacks, listen to music with faster tempos… or, an easy one, try TYPING MORE IN UPPER CASE. ▼ Lose weight – We all gain weight over the holidays and folks like me don’t even wait […]

Why We Should All Smoke Cigarettes

Emphysema will get you excused from almost any chore. ◙ A cigarette used to indicate the end of sex, which used to be helpful because, without it, I’d lose my place and keep going long after it was pleasurable for either of us. ◙ When people see you with a lit cigarette, they know you […]

Still More Things You Don’t Know About Me

I have this fantasy about a physical relationship with Shakira where I tell her that I’m too old for her and she shouldn’t waste her life on me. At first, she argues the point, but weeks later, she’s leaves me in the middle of the night without a word. This is what depression and overthinking […]

Rough Moth Stand

I keep a crash test dummy in the front passenger seat… mostly so I can drive in the HOV lanes. I get to work a LOT faster and it doesn’t care how recklessly I drive. They say that celery has “negative calories”, meaning that you expend more calories chewing and digesting it than it adds […]

Tips to Quit Smoking

Assure yourself that you CAN quit, as you have done it so many times before. Quitting smoking can be stressful. There are many ways to alleviate this stress, but the most effective method is to start smoking again. Sometimes, quitting smoking is just a matter of changing habits. Do you smoke on your way […]