I have this fantasy about a physical relationship with Shakira where I tell her that I’m too old for her and she shouldn’t waste her life on me. At first, she argues the point, but weeks later, she’s leaves me in the middle of the night without a word. This is what depression and overthinking does to my sexual fantasies.
I will eat a piece of birthday cake, just for luck; however, if you offer me an anchovy, I WILL kill you.
My favorite thing to be beaten with is a palm frond.
My favorite kind of rock is sedimentary but I tell everyone that it is igneous because I want them to think I’m cool.
My family named our pet goat after me. Everyone hated that goat. I got the message.
I use three pillows when I sleep: One for my head, one to put my arm around and one to be the dog. It just lays there at the foot of the bed not hurting anyone, although they occasionally get worms.
When I wanted to quit smoking, I tried hypnosis but found I was completely immune to it. I did manage to quit during the subsequent three months when I thought I was a chicken.
I played the drums for a brief period in the eighties until the band finished their break and told me to leave their instruments alone. All told, it was about fifteen minutes. It was a wild ride!
I’ve never paid for sex knowingly.
I regret not being more involved in the civil rights movement but I was seven and was playing baseball and cowboys and Indians. We DID always let the Indians win which must’ve salved some racial wounds.