Still More Things You Don’t Know About Me

Shakira - La La La / Waka Waka (From 'Shakira In Concert: El ...
Go, little one, I have set you free!

I have this fantasy about a physical relationship with Shakira where I tell her that I’m too old for her and she shouldn’t waste her life on me. At first, she argues the point, but weeks later, she’s leaves me in the middle of the night without a word. This is what depression and overthinking does to my sexual fantasies.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

I will eat a piece of birthday cake, just for luck; however, if you offer me an anchovy, I WILL kill you.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

My favorite thing to be beaten with is a palm frond.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

My favorite kind of rock is sedimentary but I tell everyone that it is igneous because I want them to think I’m cool.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

My family named our pet goat after me. Everyone hated that goat. I got the message.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

I use three pillows when I sleep: One for my head, one to put my arm around and one to be the dog. It just lays there at the foot of the bed not hurting anyone, although they occasionally get worms.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

When I wanted to quit smoking, I tried hypnosis but found I was completely immune to it. I did manage to quit during the subsequent three months when I thought I was a chicken.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

I played the drums for a brief period in the eighties until the band finished their break and told me to leave their instruments alone. All told, it was about fifteen minutes. It was a wild ride!

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

I’ve never paid for sex knowingly.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

I regret not being more involved in the civil rights movement but I was seven and was playing baseball and cowboys and Indians. We DID always let the Indians win which must’ve salved some racial wounds.

Decorating with Palm Fronds | Artificial palm leaves, Fan palm ...

 

31 thoughts on “Still More Things You Don’t Know About Me

  1. After doing a lot of online schooling with the kids I now know (or was reminded, I guess) what an igneous rock is. I do feel pretty cool to be in the “in” crowd. And the goat one made me laugh πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I never paid for sex knowingly either. However, after the wife got the house, the kids, the cars, I realized a few thousand dollar hookers in Vegas twice a month would have been much, much cheaper in the long run.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I told my wife at the time that I’d quit when she got pregnant. Little did I guess that it would happen so soon…

      But, when I give my word on something… It’s been twenty eight years since I smoked a cigarette. It took twenty years before I stopped missing them…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I ended up giving up smoking with the aid of patches of gum. Unfortunately I ended up being allergic to the patches, but the nicotine gum got me through it. After I gave up I kept dreaming all the time I was smoking again. A couple of years ago I did start again, but it was only for a few months and I found giving up not so hard. I used to like to ponder stuff I was working on when I was smoking, and I sort of miss that. In the summertime I still get a yearning to sit out in the sun and smoke like I used to, it may take a few more years for that feeling to go away.

        Liked by 1 person

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