[I’ve been having trouble writing so you’ll get THIS and LIKE it]
Because I hate the word “kiosk”…
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Old people spend their mornings walking in the mall rather than doing their job: Telling young people everything that is wrong with their generation.
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Ever since the pet stores stopped selling puppies, I’ve spent my time in a futile attempt to bond with hamsters and tropical fish.
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Bathrooms are always somewhere within a set of labyrinthine hallways. Once I encountered a Minotaur in one of those hallways and he was murderously angry because he couldn’t find the bathroom either.
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I wanted to see how long, after the rest of the mall stopped burning, it would take for the candle store to go out.
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I wanted to see if the firefighters would save the Sears before the J. C. Penny’s… or just laugh and dance as both of them burned to the ground…
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Because, maybe, in the smoldering ashes, I might find a part of myself that has eluded me since I was a child… or wire hangers… you can never have enough wire hangers.
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I found out Victoria’s Secret… she was smuggling intelligence documents to Russia and Belarus.
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The wishing fountain is the heart of the mall. I dropped a quarter into it and, to this day, I haven’t gotten a single phone call from Jessica Alba.
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I burned it down in hopes that they’d replace it with a forty acre alligator farm/petting zoo/prosthetic limb emporium…
I like it… I like it. Geesh, enough with pressure.
(Although there’s no liking trying to bond with aquatic creatures, they’re such cold fish. )
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When I was a kid, though, I always wanted one of those newts…
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Beware — I hear the devil loves people who have burning ambitions (I know — who knew the devil could love?).
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I think, at one point, my ex loved me. I’m not saying she’s the devil, but she probably sits at his right hand…
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I’m impressed that you discovered the previously unknown about Victoria’s Secret. But the alligator farm/petting zoo/prosthetic limb emporium may be the best idea ever!
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And, if you run out of alligator food, you can simply throw some of the animals from the petting zoo over the fence!
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I hate the word kiosk too, but it’s always fun to see what useless things they’re selling, and to wonder how “I worked at a kiosk” goes over on a job resume.
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I am not sure you’re right about Victoria’s Secret—how did she smuggle the documents and remain inconspicuous?
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There was a secret compartment in her Spanx…
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Must’ve been very small documents.
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Or D-size blueprints with attached documentation… She’s a hefty gal!
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I thought you’d burnt it down cos it sold Vin Diesel movies 🙂
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I can have more than ten reasons…
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Guess what
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Well… what???
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