Adages We DON’T Need

Learning as an Adult: Can You Teach an Old Dog New Tricks? - AVATAR MS

All’s well that ends well” – If you ever wanted a phrase that means literally nothing and you are tired of the phrase, “There you have it”, this is the one for you.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” – This one is just confusing. What new dog tricks have been introduced in the last six hundred years? Hey boy! Format my computer…?

Opposites attract” – They really really don’t. I can’t emphasize this enough.

A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind horse” – I wouldn’t know because I only raised sighted horses. It didn’t matter if I nodded or winked, the response was exactly the same: They’d fart, snort and then try to pin me to the stable wall.

A fool and his money are soon parted” – Okay, this one is true but, for God’s sake, DON’T WARN THEM…

Enough is enough” – Any phrase where two-thirds of the words are duplicates is better left unheeded.

Fight fire with fire” – This may not work but I’d pay good money to watch someone try it.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration” – Edison had to say this because he stole the inspiration for the light bulb from other inventors and then simply tried every possible thing until he got one that worked.

Love is blind” – No, love is stupid. It just seems like blindness because those in love bump into things a lot.

Tomorrow is another day” – So was yesterday and today and you totally botched them…

He threw down the gauntlet” – I assume this came from a time when gauntlets were plentiful and cheap enough to throw to the ground should the urge come over you; but, the only people who know what a gauntlet is are those who own twenty-sided die and watch too much anime…

21 thoughts on “Adages We DON’T Need

    1. I finally figured that one out…so I’ll share: ONE stich IN TIME (when the hole is small) saves 9 stiches later when the hole gets bigger. (Do it now…don’t procrastinate or all your problems will get worse and take more effort to fix )

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      1. National Lampoon? Satire is no longer possible since the real world made a satire of reality all its own. And, by the way, I remember that cover quite well…it was a Dalmatian with a gun pointed to its head: Buy this magazine or we’ll shoot this dog.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you! I’m glad I didn’t imagine it…

        Yes, it does feel as if satire is dead and Irony is on a ventilator. If I’d postulated the last five years as a plot to a novel forty years ago, I’d have been shown the door. It can’t happen here…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Now I’m going to argue here Charles, opposites do attract. When I did my Science of Sex module at uni they proved that you are most attracted to one who is genetically opposite. This is so the gene pool is diversified. PS – Women on the pill will often marry like, which according to my lecturer results in high numbers of divorce.

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